Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Calling All Monster Kids Past and Future...

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TO ALL MONSTER KIDS, PAST AND FUTURE—


The bloodline continues. The unholy gospel of Ackerman, Warren, and the original monster mag mavens flows through our veins—but this ain’t just a tribute act. This is the next mutation.


🔥 SPACE MONSTERS MAGAZINE 🔥

Where the Old School Meets the New Nightmare

(And Where Film Professionals & Fans Collide in a Beautiful, Bloody Mess)


WE’RE THE MONSTER KIDS WHO GREW UP—BUT NEVER SOLD OUT.


🎬 BY FILM CREATORS, FOR FILM CREATORS – Our writers? FX wizards, scream queens, indie horror directors, and Hollywood’s underground. This isn’t just fandom—it’s a backstage pass to how the dark magic gets made.


💀 THE TORCH IS OURS NOW – We bow to the legends (Famous Monsters, Creepy, Eerie), but we’re not stuck in the past. We’re pushing the genre forward—same love of latex and lore, but with 2025-level savagery.


📽 INSIDER KNOWLEDGE, OUTSIDER ATTITUDE – Ever wanted to hear practical FX masters rant about CGI? Indie horror directors spill set secrets? Actors who’ve been stabbed on-screen explain why fake blood tastes terrible? This is your bible.


🖤 FANS WELCOME, POSERS BEWARE – Whether you’re a working filmmaker or just a monster kid with a VHS addiction, this is your tribe. No gatekeeping. Just gore.


"GRIMALDI, THIS SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE."

Oh, it’s true. And it’s terrifying.


👉 SUBSCRIBE NOW OR LIVE IN REGRET 👈


THE LEGACY LIVES.

THE SLAY CONTINUES.

WILL YOU BE PART OF IT—OR JUST ANOTHER EXTRA IN THE MASS GRAVE OF FANDOM?


End Transmission


🔗 Join the Bloodline: www.spacemonstersmagazine.com

🔗 Feed the Mutation: www.obliviontradingpost.com


P.S. Forry’s ghost is nodding in approval. Ackerman would’ve stolen this zine for his collection.



#SpaceMonstersMagazine #MonsterKids #HorrorMagazine #SciFiMagazine #CarryingTheTorch #ForrestJAckerman #JamesWarren #CreepyMagazine #EerieMagazine #FamousMonsters #PracticalFX #IndieHorror #HorrorFilmmakers #GoreAndGlory #PunkRockHorror #ZineCulture #HorrorCommunity #FilmProfessionals #ScreamQueens #FXArtists #NoCGIJustBlood #SubscribeToTheMadness

Friday, June 27, 2025

Weapons Of Mass Collection

 

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"ATTENTION, EARTHIE SCUM & COLLECTORS OF THE DAMNED!
Your feed is about to be contaminated with the most beautifully unhinged ad spread this side of the Horsehead Nebula. Feast your pathetic eyes on Oblivion Trading Post’s Weapons of Mass Collection—a glorious assault on good taste, sanity, and your wallet.
🔥 HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS COSMIC WAR CRIME:
☠️ Grimaldi’s Glow-in-the-Dark Action Figure (Only 666 exist—like your chances of survival)
☠️ Space Monsters Pin Buttons (For marking your allies in the Spectral Legion)
☠️ Cinema Macabre Magazine (The grindhouse bible your coffee table deserves)
☠️ Frankenstein Jigsaw Puzzle (500 pieces of gothic torment)
☠️ Space Monsters #1 (100 pages of pure cosmic filth*)
"YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT DOOM:
STARE at this spread until your eyes bleed.
SURRENDER your funds.
WARNING: Side effects may include sudden obsession, unexplained merch hoarding, and Grimaldi’s eternal judgment.
#WeaponsOfMassCollection #CosmicContraband #HorrorHoarder
...End Transmission...

P.S. Tag a fellow degenerate who needs this in their life. (We’ll watch the chaos unfold.)

WARNING: RADIOACTIVE MERCH DETECTED!

 

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"WARNING: RADIOACTIVE MERCH DETECTED!

The Oblivion Trading Post Fallout Sale is now contaminating your feed with glow-in-the-dark nightmares, limited-edition mutations, and collector-grade horrors hot from our nuclear-powered presses!

☢️ HOT ITEMS SPIKING OUR GEIGER COUNTERS:
→ Frankenstein Mousepads (Now with 10% more lab-grown spite)
→ Nosferatu Tees (Pulse-pounding 1500cpm radiation readings)
→ Crites Replicas (Guaranteed to emit dangerous levels of nostalgia)
→ Spectral Legion Kits (Includes glow-in-the-dark badge with safe levels of cesium-137)

"ACT FAST - THESE ITEMS HAVE A HALF-LIFE OF APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES!"
👉 Direct Exposure at OblivionTradingPost.com

#FalloutFinds #GlowInTheDarkMenace #RadiationRiot

...End Transmission...

Thursday, June 26, 2025

Grimaldi’s Guide to Feline Space Domination: The Lunar Riot Cat Helmet Has Landed!

 


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"EARTHIES!
Your pathetic house panther isn’t just a fuzzy little war criminal—they’re a ZERO-G MENACE IN TRAINING!

🚀 INTRODUCING THE FELINE ASTRONAUT HELMET
(Because even cats deserve to look fabulous while plotting lunar domination)

WHY YOUR CAT NEEDS THIS (OR ELSE):
🐾 SPACE-AGE STYLE – Finally, an outfit that matches their interstellar ego
🐾 PAW-SITIVELY PURRFECT FIT – Adjustable straps (because we know Fluffy will fight it)
🐾 RIOT-READY – Ideal for moonbase mutinies or knocking over your Saturn V model
🐾 100% APOCALYPSE-APPROVED – Because when the revolution comes, your cat should lead it

"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE THEY CLAW YOUR EYES OUT IN PROTEST!"
(Limited stock—like your cat’s patience.)

👽 GRAB IT HERE 👽

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceMonsters #CatCosplay

👉 @SpaceMonstersMag
👉 @OblivionTradingPost

...End Transmission...

P.S. Comes with zero guarantees your cat won’t immediately pancake-flop in protest. We accept no liability for feline tantrums.

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceCats #CatCosplay #SciFiPets #SpaceMonsters #OblivionTradingPost #CatMemes #InterstellarPets #CosmicCats #ZeroGMenaces #GrimaldiApproved

Space Monsters officially lands in Ocean Beach

 


⚡ BREAKING FROM THE FORTRESS OF ULTIMATE DARKNESS ⚡

 Space Monsters Magazine has tunneled through the fabric of reality (via a suspiciously OB-shaped wormhole) and officially planted its flag in Ocean Beach, San Diego.


🌌 COSMIC LOOT ALERT: Signed copies of ISSUE #1 will materialize at The Black in Ocean Beach in 2 weeks—grab one before the Supreme Being notices and yanks them back to the Void.


📍 THE BLACK • 5017 Newport Ave • OB’s premier purveyor of goods & counterculture contraband (est. 1976).

#spacemonstersmagazine #spacemonstersmag #jasonbrazeal #donaldfglut #nicholasvince #elizabethbelmont #stevestrout #stevewerblun #elizabethgrossi #donaldfarmer #famousmonsters #spacemonsters #fangoria #sandiego #oceanbeachcalifornia #sandiegohorror #sandiegogoth #sandiegopunk #southerncalifornia #frankdietz #simonpritchard #dennisdaniel#simonpritchard #mickstrawn #gwar #beefcakethemighty #caseyorr

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Official Space Monsters Limited Edition Grimaldi Action Figure

 

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"EARTHIES!

Your prayers to the dark gods have been answered—the OFFICIAL Grimaldi Action Figure is HERE, and it's almost as terrifying as the real thing.


🔥 LIMITED TO JUST 666 UNITS (because we enjoy your suffering)

🔥 GLOWS IN THE DARK (like your soul should)


"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE BUCCANEER BUNNY STEALS THEM ALL!"

(Seriously, that thieving rodent has no shame.)


💀 GRAB YOURS HERE 💀

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure


WARNING:

• May cause spontaneous obsession with Space Monsters lore

• Not responsible for divorce when your partner sees the credit card bill

• Side effects include: eternal bragging rights


#GrimaldiActionFigure #SpaceMonsters #LimitedEdition #HorrorCollector


👉 @SpaceMonstersMag

👉 @OblivionTradingPost


...End Transmission...


P.S. First 50 orders get a FREE vial of "Slime" (non-toxic... probably). Move fast, maggots.

Space Monsters Magazine Crash Landing Pack

 

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"EARTHIES!
Did your last spaceship crash-land in a dumpster fire of regret? GOOD. Now you’ve got the perfect excuse to upgrade to the CRASH LANDING PACK—the only survival kit endorsed by intergalactic failures (and my slime-coated sense of humor).

WHAT’S IN THE BOX? (Besides cosmic despair?)
Space Monsters Magazine Issue #1 (The banned issue that got a UFO researcher ‘disappeared’ in 1997. Read at your own risk.

"Space Monsters Logo" T-shirt (your cult uniform)

Collection #1 of 5 Space Monsters Buttons (for trauma bonding)

WHY BUY?
✔️ Makes a great gift (for enemies you want to traumatize).
✔️ Guaranteed to impress (literally no one).
✔️ Survival rate: 0% (but hey, the merch is fire).

"ACT FAST, MAGGOTS! These packs are vanishing faster than your will to live!"

🔥 GRAB YOURS NOW 🔥

👉 Tag your least competent friend below. They need this.

#CrashLandingPack #SpaceMonsters #FailLikeAPro #OblivionTradingPost #GrimaldiApproved

...End Transmission...

Calling All Monster Kids Past and Future...

 Incoming Transmission....Commlink Established... TO ALL MONSTER KIDS, PAST AND FUTURE— The bloodline continues. The unholy gospel of Ackerm...