Grimaldi’s Guide to Feline Space Domination: The Lunar Riot Cat Helmet Has Landed!

 

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"EARTHIES!

Your pathetic house panther isn’t just a fuzzy little war criminal—they’re a ZERO-G MENACE IN TRAINING!

🚀 INTRODUCING THE FELINE ASTRONAUT HELMET

(Because even cats deserve to look fabulous while plotting lunar domination)

WHY YOUR CAT NEEDS THIS (OR ELSE):

🐾 SPACE-AGE STYLE – Finally, an outfit that matches their interstellar ego

🐾 PAW-SITIVELY PURRFECT FIT – Adjustable straps (because we know Fluffy will fight it)

🐾 RIOT-READY – Ideal for moonbase mutinies or knocking over your Saturn V model

🐾 100% APOCALYPSE-APPROVED – Because when the revolution comes, your cat should lead it

"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE THEY CLAW YOUR EYES OUT IN PROTEST!"

(Limited stock—like your cat’s patience.)

👽 GRAB IT HERE 👽

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceMonsters #CatCosplay

👉 @SpaceMonstersMag

👉 @OblivionTradingPost

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P.S. Comes with zero guarantees your cat won’t immediately pancake-flop in protest. We accept no liability for feline tantrums.

#LunarRiotCats #FelineAstronaut #SpaceCats #CatCosplay #SciFiPets #SpaceMonsters #OblivionTradingPost #CatMemes #InterstellarPets #CosmicCats #ZeroGMenaces #GrimaldiApproved

Space Monsters officially lands in Ocean Beach

 

⚡ BREAKING FROM THE FORTRESS OF ULTIMATE DARKNESS ⚡

 Space Monsters Magazine has tunneled through the fabric of reality (via a suspiciously OB-shaped wormhole) and officially planted its flag in Ocean Beach, San Diego.

🌌 COSMIC LOOT ALERT: Signed copies of ISSUE #1 will materialize at The Black in Ocean Beach in 2 weeks—grab one before the Supreme Being notices and yanks them back to the Void.

📍 THE BLACK • 5017 Newport Ave • OB’s premier purveyor of goods & counterculture contraband (est. 1976).

#spacemonstersmagazine #spacemonstersmag #jasonbrazeal #donaldfglut #nicholasvince #elizabethbelmont #stevestrout #stevewerblun #elizabethgrossi #donaldfarmer #famousmonsters #spacemonsters #fangoria #sandiego #oceanbeachcalifornia #sandiegohorror #sandiegogoth #sandiegopunk #southerncalifornia #frankdietz #simonpritchard #dennisdaniel#simonpritchard #mickstrawn #gwar #beefcakethemighty #caseyorr

Official Space Monsters Limited Edition Grimaldi Action Figure

 

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"EARTHIES!

Your prayers to the dark gods have been answered—the OFFICIAL Grimaldi Action Figure is HERE, and it's almost as terrifying as the real thing.

🔥 LIMITED TO JUST 666 UNITS (because we enjoy your suffering)

🔥 GLOWS IN THE DARK (like your soul should)

"PRE-ORDER NOW BEFORE BUCCANEER BUNNY STEALS THEM ALL!"

(Seriously, that thieving rodent has no shame.)

💀 GRAB YOURS HERE 💀

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/officially-licensed-grimaldi-action-figure

WARNING:

• May cause spontaneous obsession with Space Monsters lore

• Not responsible for divorce when your partner sees the credit card bill

• Side effects include: eternal bragging rights

#GrimaldiActionFigure #SpaceMonsters #LimitedEdition #HorrorCollector

👉 @SpaceMonstersMag

👉 @OblivionTradingPost

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P.S. First 50 orders get a FREE vial of "Slime" (non-toxic... probably). Move fast, maggots.

Space Monsters Magazine Crash Landing Pack

 

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"EARTHIES!

Did your last spaceship crash-land in a dumpster fire of regret? GOOD. Now you’ve got the perfect excuse to upgrade to the CRASH LANDING PACK—the only survival kit endorsed by intergalactic failures (and my slime-coated sense of humor).

WHAT’S IN THE BOX? (Besides cosmic despair?)

Space Monsters Magazine Issue #1 (The banned issue that got a UFO researcher ‘disappeared’ in 1997. Read at your own risk.

"Space Monsters Logo" T-shirt (your cult uniform)

Collection #1 of 5 Space Monsters Buttons (for trauma bonding)

WHY BUY?

✔️ Makes a great gift (for enemies you want to traumatize).

✔️ Guaranteed to impress (literally no one).

✔️ Survival rate: 0% (but hey, the merch is fire).

"ACT FAST, MAGGOTS! These packs are vanishing faster than your will to live!"

🔥 GRAB YOURS NOW 🔥

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/crash-landing-pack

👉 Tag your least competent friend below. They need this.

#CrashLandingPack #SpaceMonsters #FailLikeAPro #OblivionTradingPost #GrimaldiApproved

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Nosferatu Jigsaw puzzle - Angelo Mariano Art

 

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"PUZZLE YOUR WAY INTO THE NIGHT, EARTHIES! 🧩🦇

Tired of pathetic 500-piece puzzles featuring kittens or sunsets? BORING. How about a NOSFERATU JIGSAW PUZZLE so sinister, it’ll make your coffee table haunted?

🔹 252 pieces of vampiric torment (Count Orlok’s stare will judge you)

🔹 Premium matte finish (so slick, it’s like blood under moonlight)

🔹 Official nightmare fuel (100% unauthorized by sunlight)

Created from the esteemed artwork of Angelo Mariano!

"Think you can handle it? Or will you crumble like a peasant under the Count’s gaze?"

👉 GRAB YOURS NOW 👈

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/nosferatu-jigsaw-puzzle

"Happy puzzling… if you DARE."

👉 www.spacemonstersmagazine.com

👉 www.obliviontradingpost.com

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#Nosferatu #HorrorPuzzle #VampirePuzzle #GlowInTheDark #HorrorMerch #ClassicHorror #SilentFilm #HorrorCollector #GothicPuzzle #SpookyGames #HorrorGifts #PuzzleNight #HorrorArt #OblivionTradingPost #SpaceMonstersMag

Win a Free VIP Membership Subscribe to Space Monsters Magazine Today!

 

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"ATTENTION, EARTHIES!

Do you crave the sweet, slimy embrace of Grimaldi’s Spectral Legion? Or are you content to wallow in the lukewarm mediocrity of mainstream existence?

WE ARE OFFERING ONLY 50 SPOTS. That’s right—50. Less than the number of brain cells it takes to enjoy a Marvel movie. And here’s what you get when you join the Phantom Lieutenant Tier of my elite horror legion:

YOUR TICKET TO THE COSMIC ABYSS INCLUDES:

🔥 A FULL YEAR of Space Monsters Magazine (All 4 Issues) – 150+ pages of gore, sci-fi, and punk-rock terror delivered straight to your doorstep (or your grave, if you prefer).

🔥 Exclusive Discounts – Slash prices on merch, Babel Fish Press releases, and first dibs on cursed collectibles.

🔥 LED Membership Badge & Lanyard (Upgrade Option) – Glow in the dark like the radioactive trash you are.

🔥 Glowing Wallet-Sized Membership Card – Burned with your new demonic callsign (because "Dave from Accounting" was never scary).

🔥 4 Limited-Edition Spectral Legion Buttons – Featuring Grimaldi’s greatest insults, perfect for triggering normies.

🔥 Legionnaire Lottery – Get featured in the magazine, win exclusive prizes, and prove you’re more than just expendable background fodder.

🔥 Lifetime 10% Off at Oblivion Trading Post – Because even monsters love a good deal.

🔥 Members-Only Merch – Items so rare, even Buccaneer Bunny couldn’t steal them.

AND NOW… A FREE MEMBERSHIP (IF YOU DARE)

"WE’RE GIVING AWAY A FREE YEAR OF SPECTRAL LEGION!"

HOW TO ENTER:

1️⃣ LIKE THIS POST (Or be forever branded a coward).

2️⃣ SHARE PUBLICLY (No hiding in the shadows, worm).

3️⃣ TAG 2 FILMMAKERS who deserve banishment to our ranks (We know who you’re thinking of).

🎁 BONUS ENTRY: Drop your sickest burn on mainstream cinema below. ("Marvel is just expensive soap operas for man-children." – See? Easy.)

RULES (BECAUSE EVEN CHAOS HAS RULES):

☠️ Winner must prove they’ve made a film (IMDb link or it didn’t happen).

☠️ No bot accounts (6+ months old or face Grimaldi’s wrath).

☠️ Winner announced 7/21/2025—mark your calendars (or your tombstones).

"WHY JOIN? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BORING AND YOU’RE NOT."

This isn’t just a subscription/monster fan club —it’s a lifeline to the damned. Only 50 spots exist. Will you seize yours… or will you fade into obscurity like a bad direct-to-streaming sequel?

👉 JOIN THE LEGION NOW 👈

https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/phantom-lieutenant-tier-subscription-fan-club-now-with-led-badge-upgrade-79-99

"Tick tock, maggot. The Slime is watching."

👉 www.spacemonstersmagazine.com

👉 www.obliviontradingpost.com

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#HorrorCommunity #SciFiHorror #SpaceMonsters #IndieHorror #HorrorMagazine #Gore #PunkRock #UndergroundComics #ExtremeHorror #BMovie #CultClassics #ZineCulture #HorrorArt #WeirdTales #AnalogHorror #HorrorFans #AlternativeMedia #HorrorMerch #ObscureHorror #DIYHorror #HorrorCollector #LimitedEdition #HorrorSubscription #HorrorClub #SpectralLegion #Grimaldi #BabelFishPress #OblivionTradingPost #HorrorGiveaway #FilmmakerLife

The Legionnaire’s Guide to Weaponizing Retailers (A Step-by-Step Cosmic Takeover)

 🚨 ATTENTION, LEGIONNAIRES! 🚨

YOUR MISSION (SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT):

Make Space Monsters Magazine and Oblivion Trading Post merch appear in stores near you—or die trying!

HOW TO DEPLOY:

1️⃣ SCREAM at your local comic/horror shops:

"WHY DON’T YOU STOCK SPACE MONSTERS?!" (Extra points for fake tears)

2️⃣ TAG US @SpaceMonstersMag + the shop (we’ll back you up menacingly)

3️⃣ TELL THEM to email spacemonsterzmag@gmail.com for:

Wholesale pricing...code available to retailers upon request. 

Press kits (to prove we’re legitimately unhinged)

Bragging rights (because carrying us = instant cool points)

WHY BOTHER?

✔️ More stores = more recruits for Grimaldi’s Legion

✔️ We’ll list all certified retailers in Issue #2 (eternal fame!)

✔️ Never again suffer "Sorry, we don’t carry that" despair

🔥 FIRST 20 FANS to get a store to order get:

"Retail Terrorist" digital badge (brag on ALL profiles)

Shoutout in our newsletter (65k+ equally deranged subscribers)

P.S. Too impatient? Order direct & rub it in their faces:

OblivionTradingPost.com

#RetailRebellion #StockTheHorror #GrimaldisArmy #StockOrPerish

Space Monsters Magazine can be found at the following locations:

Haunted Burrow Books - Seattle Wa. 

Skylight Books - Los Angeles

Forbidden Planet - New York City

Atomic Books - Baltimore MD. 

Reanimated Records - San Diego, CA.

and the list is growing daily....