Incoming Transmission....Commlink Established...
"ATTENTION, EARTHIES!
Do you crave the sweet, slimy embrace of Grimaldi’s Spectral Legion? Or are you content to wallow in the lukewarm mediocrity of mainstream existence?
WE ARE OFFERING ONLY 50 SPOTS. That’s right—50. Less than the number of brain cells it takes to enjoy a Marvel movie. And here’s what you get when you join the Phantom Lieutenant Tier of my elite horror legion:
YOUR TICKET TO THE COSMIC ABYSS INCLUDES:
🔥 A FULL YEAR of Space Monsters Magazine (All 4 Issues) – 150+ pages of gore, sci-fi, and punk-rock terror delivered straight to your doorstep (or your grave, if you prefer).
🔥 Exclusive Discounts – Slash prices on merch, Babel Fish Press releases, and first dibs on cursed collectibles.
🔥 LED Membership Badge & Lanyard (Upgrade Option) – Glow in the dark like the radioactive trash you are.
🔥 Glowing Wallet-Sized Membership Card – Burned with your new demonic callsign (because "Dave from Accounting" was never scary).
🔥 4 Limited-Edition Spectral Legion Buttons – Featuring Grimaldi’s greatest insults, perfect for triggering normies.
🔥 Legionnaire Lottery – Get featured in the magazine, win exclusive prizes, and prove you’re more than just expendable background fodder.
🔥 Lifetime 10% Off at Oblivion Trading Post – Because even monsters love a good deal.
🔥 Members-Only Merch – Items so rare, even Buccaneer Bunny couldn’t steal them.
AND NOW… A FREE MEMBERSHIP (IF YOU DARE)
"WE’RE GIVING AWAY A FREE YEAR OF SPECTRAL LEGION!"
HOW TO ENTER:
1️⃣ LIKE THIS POST (Or be forever branded a coward).
2️⃣ SHARE PUBLICLY (No hiding in the shadows, worm).
3️⃣ TAG 2 FILMMAKERS who deserve banishment to our ranks (We know who you’re thinking of).
🎁 BONUS ENTRY: Drop your sickest burn on mainstream cinema below. ("Marvel is just expensive soap operas for man-children." – See? Easy.)
RULES (BECAUSE EVEN CHAOS HAS RULES):
☠️ Winner must prove they’ve made a film (IMDb link or it didn’t happen).
☠️ No bot accounts (6+ months old or face Grimaldi’s wrath).
☠️ Winner announced 7/21/2025—mark your calendars (or your tombstones).
"WHY JOIN? BECAUSE THE WORLD IS BORING AND YOU’RE NOT."
This isn’t just a subscription/monster fan club —it’s a lifeline to the damned. Only 50 spots exist. Will you seize yours… or will you fade into obscurity like a bad direct-to-streaming sequel?
👉 JOIN THE LEGION NOW 👈
https://obliviontradingpost.com/products/phantom-lieutenant-tier-subscription-fan-club-now-with-led-badge-upgrade-79-99
"Tick tock, maggot. The Slime is watching."
👉 www.spacemonstersmagazine.com
👉 www.obliviontradingpost.com
...End Transmission...
#HorrorCommunity #SciFiHorror #SpaceMonsters #IndieHorror #HorrorMagazine #Gore #PunkRock #UndergroundComics #ExtremeHorror #BMovie #CultClassics #ZineCulture #HorrorArt #WeirdTales #AnalogHorror #HorrorFans #AlternativeMedia #HorrorMerch #ObscureHorror #DIYHorror #HorrorCollector #LimitedEdition #HorrorSubscription #HorrorClub #SpectralLegion #Grimaldi #BabelFishPress #OblivionTradingPost #HorrorGiveaway #FilmmakerLife
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